Backsliding: The Problem & The Solution

Anyone else feeling tired? I know lately, that’s been me. I mean, just how much can one person take right? How many storms and waves can hit you before you fall? How many thorns in the side, and snares can one person take?

Lately, the attack on my life, and the lives of those that I love has been non-ceasing. Every time we overcome one obstacle, another one manifests. Every time we make it through one storm, we walk right into another. And as of late, I had come to a point of total exhaustion. I’ve found myself asking God “how much more can I take? Do you hear me crying out, do you hear those around me crying out? Do you see us struggling and trying to remain faithful to You even in the midst of our trials?

How dare I question God, right? Who am I to ask the God of the universe “why”?

At the end of the day the sad truth is we have all had moments like this in life when we’ve fought so hard and so long that we feel as if we have no more fight. We become weary and exhausted, wondering what it is that God could possibly be doing. And if I’m being honest, in my exhaustion with life and the attack of the enemy and in my weariness, I have become so tired that I let my relationship with God suffer. Not intentionally, and not noticeably. Just over time. And that’s how it happens isn’t it?

We get tired, and we get so discouraged and frustrated with the fight that we somewhat give up. We backslide and we begin to do the things that make us feel better as opposed to the things that renew our spirits. And I am ashamed to say that in my exhaustion, I began to distance myself from God. Not for one moment did I forget Who God was and is, not for one moment did my faith in God begin to fade, nor my trust in God diminish. But over time, bit by bit, my spiritual passion began to wane. My spiritual energy began to fade. I became lazy in spirit because the truth is the fight had taken so much out of me, that I resigned to just exist, and let God do all the work. Truth be told sometimes, that’s what we want isn’t it? Times get hard, the heat gets turned up, and the enemy has put such a whooping on us, that we fall, and don’t even try to get back up. We lay there in pity, and defeat and we say “Lord have your way. Lord I’m tired, now YOU do it.”

But the reality and the truth of it is this, we have a part to do as well. And the moment that we give in to our pity and frustration and weariness, we are telling the enemy that he has won. This is how he comes in a steals, kills, and destroys. He wears you out, and then he waits for you to give up and concede so that he can swoop in for the kill. He does things like send that ex around, put you in front of those unhealthy people that do unhealthy things. Because when you are tired, and you have a spirit of defeat about you, the enemy has gained access to the parts of you and of your life that you are usually strong and fortified in, but have now become weak, deficient, and moveable. And he will get in those areas, and begin to wreak havoc.

I’ll admit that lately, in my weakened state, in my time of spiritual deficit, the enemy has stirred up all kinds of mess in my life. Old feelings, habits, people, thought processes. Music that I stopped listening to, shows that I stopped watching have once again crept back in. And why? Because they are pleasing to the flesh. You see when you get weary and you allow yourself to succumb to exhaustion, you go looking for comfort in the things that please your flesh, not your spirit. Why? Because when the spirit is weak, and when you have not been renewing your mind and spirit, your flesh becomes stronger. The bible says in Matthew 26:41 that “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” And this is true whether you are up or down in life. But when you are down, you have given the enemy a foothold because your spirit is so weak, that your defenses have also been weakened.

And so lately, I’ve noticed these things. I know, I know. How does one, especially in ministry, get to this point? Because we are fleshly beings. Don’t think that because someone is in ministry that the attacks on their life stop, or that they cease to be human or flesh. The Bible says in Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. And when you are at a point in your life where the tests and trials seem to be never ending, and you’re doing all you can but the weight of the burden and the ferocity of the fight begins to wear you out, you can find yourself in places, emotions, and moods that you didn’t see coming, gave up a long time ago, and have no idea how you got there. You will begin to backslide and not realize it if you allow yourself to stay there. It starts with being physically exhausted. So rather than read your bible, you want to relax and watch your favorite show just to laugh. Then it goes to knowing that you need to get to church, but feeling too tired to get up and go. From there, because you’ve lost your spiritual passion, you stop praying and spending time with God, you go from your gospel music back to your worldly music. You go from abstaining to indulging in the ways of the world. And it can happen so gradually that you don’t notice because your spirit is too weak to discern the change and just how deeply you have fallen.

So what do you do when you’ve gotten this tired and this weary in both your life, and in your Christian walk?

You keep fighting. Harsh and direct I know. Because you’re probably thinking “How do I keep fighting when I’m too tired to face the enemy”? By remembering Who you belong to and Who is on your side. You have to remember that God is working all things for your good (Romans 8:28), even the bad things! You’ve got to CONTINUE praying and studying the word. The problem is we go through things and we give up on God. Romans 12:11 tells us “Never be lacking in your zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving The Lord.” What that means is don’t give up on serving God, on spending time with Him, or diligently seeking Him, just because you are being tested and tried. That’s just it. We stop praying, stop talking to Him, stop leaning depending and trusting in Him. We stop patiently waiting on God. We forget that all of the things we do when we are up in our walk with God are all of the things we have to remain faithful in doing when we are in the valley as well. You don’t stop just because a season of suffering comes into your life. The enemy knows that if He wears you down enough, that you will give up on God and revert to your former selves because “it’s too hard” or “you don’t feel like God is working.” Listen to me, God is ALWAYS working, even if you don’t see it. 1 Peter 4:12-13 says “Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”

And we have to keep in mind that even when we FEEL like we cannot take anymore, God says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” God is saying I know you’re tired, I know you’re weak and you feel like you can’t keep going, but yes you can. My grace is sufficient for you. That means when you want to give up, you have the power to keep going because God gives you the grace and the strength to. You are more than conquerors!

And so as I’ve been being buffeted by the waves and storms of life, attacked and surrounded by the enemy, I found myself falling. But by the grace of God, I’ve gotten back up. It’s possible to get back up! But you have to do so by deciding that even when you’re too tired and you feel too weak to fight back, God has given you the grace to do so!